Your Nudes Are Safe With Me Organic Cotton Apron

Your nudes are safe. Your secret family recipe may be harder to protect.

The Your Nudes Are Safe With Me Organic Cotton Apron is built around bold lavender lettering. It turns that design into practical queer kitchenwear with enough personality to work before anyone has even tasted the food.

This is sexting etiquette rendered as kitchenwear. A nude is a gift, not community property, and the hottest thing after consent is somebody who understands that screenshots are not a personality.

Whatever is on the menu, the rule is the same: more flavour, more queer realness, fewer sad salads pretending to be dinner.

Wear it for dinner parties, Pride brunch, baking days, barbecues, date nights or the ordinary Tuesday meal that deserves more personality. The right apron can turn chopping onions into a minor performance.

It works naturally as a dirty gay apron, sex-positive queer cooking gift or adult LGBTQ+ kitchen apron, but the niche is the point. This is for the person who wants queer kitchenwear that actually understands the joke instead of adding a rainbow to a stock chef graphic.

The sturdy 100% organic cotton helps protect clothes from flour, grease, sauce and whatever happened when somebody became overconfident with the blender. Adjustable back straps help you find a comfortable fit, while the large two-compartment front pocket keeps utensils, tasting spoons, your phone or emergency tongs close.

Your Nudes Are Safe With Me Organic Cotton Apron Details

• 100% organic cotton
• Fabric weight: 7.08 oz/yd² (240 g/m²)
• Adjustable back straps for a comfortable fit across different body shapes
• Updated streamlined neck strap without the buckle shown in some older product photos
• Large front pocket divided into two practical compartments
• Original Queer In The World design

Each apron is made especially for you after you place your order. Producing pieces on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce unnecessary overproduction, so thank you for choosing a more considered way to shop.

Size guide

Sizing note: This is a one-size apron. Use the apron measurements below to check the fit and coverage you prefer.

Imperial Sizing Chart (inches)

Metric Sizing Chart (cm)

Cook loudly. Season aggressively. Serve cunt.