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Your nudes are safe with me, says the least discreet sweatshirt imaginable.
In blue and purple letters, a very private-sounding promise becomes hilariously public on this crewneck. It can sound like a come-on, a confession, or a joke about being the trustworthy one in a very thirsty group chat. The ambiguity lets the wearer enjoy the attention without supplying further details.
Of course, actual intimate images deserve consent, privacy, and respect. The joke lands best when the person wearing it understands that trust is more than a clever sentence. That small bit of self-awareness keeps the design sexy and playful without turning somebody else’s vulnerability into a prop. Some punchlines work best without an illustration.
Pull it on for a party, a date with a sense of humor, or a night out when a plain sweater would waste an opening. Dark garments let the colored text glow against the chest. There is no illustration to soften the line; the wearer supplies the expression and timing.
The words can start a flirtation and end as a joke, which is a perfectly good night for a sweatshirt. Give the line a knowing look if somebody reads it aloud. The real measure of trust is what you do when the conversation leaves the public room and returns to somebody’s private life.
Product details
Sizing note
This is a classic-fit unisex sweatshirt. Width is measured flat across the chest and sleeve from the center back. Compare these garment measurements with a sweatshirt you own; choose a larger size for a roomier fit. Allow approximately 0.5 to 1 in tolerance on length and width.
Imperial
| Size | Width, laid flat | Length | Sleeve, center back |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 20 in | 27 in | 33.5 in |
| M | 22 in | 28 in | 34.5 in |
| L | 24 in | 29 in | 35.5 in |
| XL | 26 in | 30 in | 36.5 in |
| 2XL | 28 in | 31 in | 37.5 in |
| 3XL | 30 in | 32 in | 38.5 in |
| 4XL | 32 in | 33 in | 39.5 in |
| 5XL | 34 in | 34 in | 40.5 in |
Metric
| Size | Width, laid flat | Length | Sleeve, center back |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 50.8 cm | 68.6 cm | 85.1 cm |
| M | 55.9 cm | 71.1 cm | 87.6 cm |
| L | 61 cm | 73.7 cm | 90.2 cm |
| XL | 66 cm | 76.2 cm | 92.7 cm |
| 2XL | 71.1 cm | 78.7 cm | 95.3 cm |
| 3XL | 76.2 cm | 81.3 cm | 97.8 cm |
| 4XL | 81.3 cm | 83.8 cm | 100.3 cm |
| 5XL | 86.4 cm | 86.4 cm | 102.9 cm |
Shipping
This item is made especially for you only after you order it, helping us avoid unnecessary overproduction, excess stock and waste. Because your piece is created on demand rather than pulled from a warehouse shelf, please allow around 2–5 business days for production before dispatch. Most orders then arrive within approximately 3–4 business days after shipping, although carrier delays and busy periods can occasionally add a little extra time.
