Don't Fuck It Up! Organic Cotton Apron

Good luck, and do not fuck up the caramel.

The Don't Fuck It Up! Organic Cotton Apron is an organic cotton kitchen apron featuring features a red lipstick kiss design and bold text, hanging in a vibrant, neon-lit kitchen scene. It takes the Don't Fuck It Up! design and turns it into practical queer kitchenwear with enough personality to work before anyone has even tasted the food.

RuPaul's lip-sync warning works because the queens have reached the point where there is one job left: perform. Cooking has exactly the same moments. The sugar is amber, the steak is resting, the soufflé is rising. Good luck, and do not fuck it up.

Don't Fuck It Up! belongs beside a chopping board because cooking is already theatre with knives. Add garlic, add attitude and plate like somebody is watching.

This is for the cook, baker, host, chaotic sous-chef or domestic diva who wants practical kitchen protection without dressing like a tasteful farmhouse catalogue.

This lands somewhere between a funny queer apron and a genuinely useful Pride kitchen apron. Gift it to the queer cook, baker, host or barbecue menace who deserves a camp LGBTQ+ cooking gift with more personality than a tasteful Pride flag in the corner.

The apron itself is sturdy 100% organic cotton with adjustable back straps and a large divided front pocket. The current neck-strap design has also been streamlined for comfort, so older product photos may show a buckle that is no longer used. There is no approved body for queer domesticity. Hairy, soft, muscular, flat, curvy, scarred, changing and beautifully ordinary bodies all get to cook.

Don't Fuck It Up! Organic Cotton Apron Details

• Original Queer In The World Don't Fuck It Up! design
• 100% organic cotton
• Fabric weight: 7.08 oz/yd² (240 g/m²)
• Adjustable back straps for a comfortable fit across different body shapes
• Updated streamlined neck strap without the buckle shown in some older product photos
• Large front pocket divided into two practical compartments
• Ideal for Pride brunches, queer dinner parties, baking, barbecues and everyday cooking
• A sharply specific funny queer apron or camp LGBTQ+ cooking gift
• Useful protection against flour, grease, sauce and overconfident whisking

Each apron is made especially for you after you place your order. Producing pieces on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce unnecessary overproduction, so thank you for choosing a more considered way to shop.

Size guide

Sizing note: This is a one-size apron. Use the apron measurements below to check the fit and coverage you prefer.

Imperial Sizing Chart (inches)

Metric Sizing Chart (cm)

Cook loudly. Season aggressively. Serve cunt.