I'm The Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron

The Throat Goat has entered the bakery. The éclairs look concerned.

The I'm The Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron is an organic cotton kitchen apron featuring rhinestone wig, sparkly bodysuit, and glitter accessories. It takes the I'm The Throat Goat design and turns it into practical queer kitchenwear with enough personality to work before anyone has even tasted the food.

Throat Goat is contemporary sex-positive slang for somebody with legendary oral skills. Vulgar, ridiculous and weirdly prestigious, which makes it perfect queer-nightlife language and deeply alarming around a piping bag.

Yes chef has acquired an entirely different tone. Tie the apron, negotiate the rest and keep the safe word away from the smoke alarm.

Ideal for sex-positive households, kinky brunches, queer hosting and the person whose recipe vocabulary already includes whip, beat, bind, stuff and spread without anybody panicking.

As a queer kink apron, it has the kind of specificity that makes a gift actually feel personal. It is also an excellent dirty LGBTQ+ cooking gift for Pride, birthdays, housewarmings, queer weddings or anyone building a kitchen with less beige and more attitude.

Under the camp is a genuinely functional 100% organic cotton apron at 7.08 oz/yd² (240 g/m²). Adjustable back straps and the roomy two-compartment front pocket make it useful through prep, cooking, serving and the inevitable clean-up. Queer bodies do not need to become smaller, smoother or more conventional before they are allowed to host dinner. Tie the straps where they feel good, protect the outfit and let the body exist.

I'm The Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron Details

• Original Queer In The World I'm The Throat Goat design
• 100% organic cotton
• Fabric weight: 7.08 oz/yd² (240 g/m²)
• Adjustable back straps for a comfortable fit across different body shapes
• Updated streamlined neck strap without the buckle shown in some older product photos
• Large front pocket divided into two practical compartments
• Ideal for Queer dinner parties, fetish-weekend breakfasts, Pride hosting and sex-positive households
• A sharply specific queer kink apron or dirty LGBTQ+ cooking gift
• Useful protection against flour, grease, sauce and overconfident whisking

Each apron is made especially for you after you place your order. Producing pieces on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce unnecessary overproduction, so thank you for choosing a more considered way to shop.

Size guide

Sizing note: This is a one-size apron. Use the apron measurements below to check the fit and coverage you prefer.

Imperial Sizing Chart (inches)

Metric Sizing Chart (cm)

Yes chef. Yes Daddy. Yes to another helping.