Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron

Throat Goat has entered the bakery. The éclairs look nervous.

The Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron is built around bold, horned figure print. Nearby, cherries on sauce, coasters, comics, and drinks evoke a lively, queer culinary scene. It turns that design into practical queer kitchenwear with enough personality to work before anyone has even tasted the food.

Throat Goat is contemporary sex-positive slang for somebody with legendary oral skills. Vulgar, ridiculous and weirdly prestigious. The kitchen edition recommends practicing on éclairs only if the filling is cool.

Éclairs, sausages and piping bags have all been advised to maintain professional boundaries around the Throat Goat.

Wear it for queer dinner parties, fetish-weekend breakfasts, leather-bar pre-drinks, date-night cooking or domestic service with an agreed hierarchy. Aprons are practical. What you wear underneath remains a private negotiation.

This is the kind of dirty gay apron that makes a far sharper gift than generic Pride merch. Think sex-positive queer cooking gift, dinner-party uniform and extremely functional adult LGBTQ+ kitchen apron in one.

Under all the queer nonsense is a genuinely functional 100% organic cotton apron with adjustable back straps and a roomy two-compartment front pocket. The current neck-strap design has been streamlined for comfort, so older product photos may show a buckle that is no longer used.

Throat Goat Organic Cotton Apron Details

• 100% organic cotton
• Fabric weight: 7.08 oz/yd² (240 g/m²)
• Adjustable back straps for a comfortable fit across different body shapes
• Updated streamlined neck strap without the buckle shown in some older product photos
• Large front pocket divided into two practical compartments
• Original Queer In The World design

Each apron is made especially for you after you place your order. Producing pieces on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce unnecessary overproduction, so thank you for choosing a more considered way to shop.

Size guide

Sizing note: This is a one-size apron. Use the apron measurements below to check the fit and coverage you prefer.

Imperial Sizing Chart (inches)

Metric Sizing Chart (cm)

Yes chef, yes Daddy, yes to another helping.